This Damned Thirst for Survival

Jiang Luo felt that all the tiredness in his body had disappeared, and he was refreshed, as if his mind had been cleansed. He wiped the dew from his body and thought that Daoist Master Wei He looked much kinder, but for some reason, he was not much interested in talking, “Not bad.”

The predestined said with a smile, “Go back.”

Jiang Luo puts on his clothes and walks back with them. He looked at the lush mountain scenery on the way, but his heart did not waver.

The fatalist asked, “Outside, the snow is thick and continuous, here the grass grows, do you like the view?”

At Jiang Luo’s words, he looked towards the scenery around him, remembering clearly that he did like a good, vibrant view and that his mood would rise with pleasure as a result. But he didn’t feel anything at the moment, so he said indifferently, “It’s alright.”

As soon as these two words were uttered, Jiang Luo sensed that something was wrong.

Is there something wrong with his mood?

It’s not too bland.

Jiang Luo tries to think about the filthy things the Qi and Chi families have done, but the ruthlessness that used to make him want to destroy them has now been eradicated, and he even feels a sense of indifference.

He thought of Lu Youyi and Ye Xun, of Feng Li and Ji Yaozi, but his emotions did not fluctuate because of these people.

In the end, it was only when he thought of Chi You that Jiang Luo’s emotions moved violently, rippling.

His reason told him plainly that something was not right with him.

What was washed away seemed to be not the filth left on him by the evil spirit, but his malice and desire.

Even though his reason was clearer, his emotions were still flat and he had no desire to change his mind about it.

Jiang Luo even knows what kind of thoughts he would have in a normal state, knows what he is like. But at this moment, he doesn’t bother to think about that.

Behind him, Wei He the Taoist priest and the fatalist walk together.

Daoist Master Wei He looked at Jiang Luo’s back and hesitated for a long time before speaking, “You have added your blood and water to the spring pool, which has multiplied its effect. Jiang Luo’s effects lasted for a month after just one soak, and after a few more soaks like this, he will be completely transformed.”

If you lose your desires and your evil thoughts as a human being, you will probably become like the predestined person who has a heart for the world but is indifferent to all things in the world.

Daoist Master Wei He did not know whether it was good or bad to do this now, after all Jiang Luo was still young, as old as Lian Xue and the others. As he grew older, he would always go soft on the younger generation, and Taoist Master Wei He sighed, “Is this too soon?”

The predestined man said slowly, “His lust is too heavy, and the time has come to clear it.”

Taoist Master Wei He said, “There is a lot of news coming from the mountain, some state agencies are investigating the Chi family and have found out a lot of things. Tian Shifu doesn’t know what’s going on, he’s also drawn a line with the Qi and Chi families, I heard that the Heavenly Master himself threw a tantrum, and that Zhuo Zhengyu guy is also on the same side as the Heavenly Master for his daughter, it’s said that the Qi and Chi families are trying to get at his daughter and his daughter’s classmates.”

“Not only them, Bai Hua University has also sued these two families to the Xuan Ling Joint Office. The senior management of the Joint Office knows you and has specially delayed the court hearing to ask if you still protect these two families.”

Taoist Master Wei He drew a letter from his pocket and handed it to the Custodian, “They wanted to know whether the two families were doing it for personal gain or for the sake of the occult community, and if it was for the sake of the occult community, they would bail out the two families even if they took the blame and condemned Bai Hua University to fail in their court trial, which would be considered a contribution to the occult community.”

The Predestined, however, did not take the letter as he said softly, “There is no need to protect it, and what they have done this time has made me a little angry.”

“They have overstepped my boundaries,” said the Fatalist in a soft, calm voice, “I said that nothing could happen to Jiang Luo, and they have done it to him. The future of the occult community is no longer in their sights, and they are useless.”

Wei He Taoist listened as the predestined man finished his last words, “Throw them away.”

It was like throwing away an ant or a bag of useless rubbish, and the tone of the predestined man did not even change in the slightest.

“Yes.” Taoist Master Wei He responded with a shudder in his heart.

*

Jiang Luo returns to his room.

He sat on the edge of the bed, not yet having changed out of the wet clothes he was wearing under his duvet.

These clothes gradually become cold and hard, drawing away the warmth of the outer garments. The backs of Jiang Luo’s hands are pale and his lips are purple with cold.

But he doesn’t want to pay attention to that right now.

He was as motionless as a stone, his eyes darting around and scanning the room.

The rooms are regular, uninspiring and boring.

But Jiang Luo finds it intellectually uninteresting, but cannot feel the corresponding emotions.

A subtle antipathy is born, and as it builds up, Jiang Luo’s disgust rises.

He hated himself in this state.

So he began to think frantically about the evil spirit, which he didn’t want to, but only that madman could drive him now. Jiang Luo thought about their earlier encounter, about the eighteen times the evil spirit had killed him, and the three times he had yet to return the favour.

And then he thought of the time he had gone to bed, of the time he had broken the evil spirit’s heart, of the time a psychopath like Chi You had fallen in love with him and fled in front of him. Jiang Luo had the upper hand, and sooner or later he would have to subjugate the evil spirit, who also wanted to conquer him.

The tip of the knife, the blood, the pinning of the smoke.

Sweat and pleasure.

The mood swings grew and suddenly broke the stalemate. Jiang Luo’s brow furrowed and his whole body felt as if it had broken free as he abruptly exhaled a cloudy breath.

He slumped back and shivered as he wrapped the quilt around himself.

But Jiang Luo was enjoying the cold at the moment, and his lips were trembling as he said to himself, “It’s cold, cold ……”

“When you’re cold you need a quilt, the feeling is called warmth ……”

He roped off a big push and only after he felt he was back to normal did he take off his wet clothes and change back into clean, warm ones.

There was a thermos at the table and he poured a cup of hot water down his stomach before finally coming out of the cold. Jiang Luo looked down at the hot water, his eyes clouded as he held the cup, a strong sense of murder and irritation arising in him.

That state just now was so terrible that it wasn’t even his own.

Jiang Luo feels a sense of revulsion and disgust when he thinks of the pools that have turned him into this state.

But the hostility and disgust appear and disappear just as quickly as they are suppressed. Before Jiang Luo could let go of these fires, they disappeared on their own.

Jiang Luo understands that this is because he has not yet fully recovered.

Now is not the time to be calculating anger, Jiang Luo contemplates for a moment, then suddenly takes a step back and unclasps his hands.

The porcelain cup in his hand fell abruptly to the floor, and after a crunching sound, it broke into large and small pieces.

Jiang Luo picked up one of the smaller pieces of porcelain with two pointed edges and put it on his body, reentering the door with a blank expression.

As they went out of the mansion, some Disciples asked, “Brother, where are you going?”

Jiang Luo said indifferently, “Go for a walk.”

Disciples didn’t stop him and watched him walk out.

The clearing in front of the courtyard was cleared by Disciples, but elsewhere a thick blanket of snow remained. Jiang Luo picked a random direction and when he got far enough away, he hid in a sheltered spot, picked up the porcelain piece and slashed it off his wrist.

The blood flowed instantly, staining the snow on the ground.

Jiang Luo watched the loss of this blood indifferently, and it was not long before his face was pale and somewhat sickly.

The lips are white, but one eye is gradually lighting up.

Under the threat of death from blood loss, Jiang Luo’s survival instincts flared to the limit. Jiang Luo’s hands tremble as he pulls a bleeding Fu Lu from his pocket and presses it to the wound, but the corners of his mouth tug higher and higher.

Jiang Luo is unconcerned that the haemostatic charm has managed to burn a hideous scar into the wound. He wears a tall smile and hums as he pulls his sleeve down to cover his slashed wrist, the dizziness and choking from the blood loss not stopping him from feeling good.

He even wanted to shout: this is what it feels like!

The lack of wind and waves had almost killed him, and Jiang Luo sat down for a while, wanting another cigarette to celebrate that he had found himself.

After recovering a little, Jiang Luo lifted his hand to look at it again and began to wonder what Wei He Daoist and the Fated One really meant.

To rid him of defilement is to rid him of lust? To turn him into an out-of-the-ordinary Taoist priest?

No, Ge Zhu is also a Taoist priest, but he is still a little rich.

Whatever the two of them were thinking, Jiang Luo was annoyed with the pool of water. He was tempted to destroy it, but given his lack of strength, he had to let the idea go.

Rather than ruining the pool, Jiang Luo should be thinking about what to do tomorrow.

They seem determined to remove the dirt from Jiang Luo’s body. Just one short hour of soaking today has made such a big difference to Jiang Luo. Today he can still realise he’s wrong, but what about tomorrow, or the day after? Or what about ten days later?

Jiang Luo very, very much does not want to become like the Fatalists or the Liangs.

He looked at the large patch of snow stained red and scalded by his own blood and knew that there was only so many times he could do something like this to keep himself awake.

There is only so much blood in the body, and Jiang Luo’s body cannot take on a second crisis. If this is still the case tomorrow, he will have to switch to another form of death that will cause him the thrill of life and death.

Jiang Luo thought thoughtfully.

But will he himself, tomorrow, remember to wake himself up in this way?

Jiang Luo slowly stood up.

Instead of going back, he wrapped himself up tightly, disposed of these bloodstains of his, and intended to go down the hill on this.

Even if this might provoke the wrath of the Lian family and Feng Li, he didn’t want to care. No consequence was as important as himself.

Jiang Luo looked at the sky, picked a path and buried his head down the hill.